Love the Way You Look (Youth Speak Out Series)

Society has always had an altered view on a woman’s body. From the large chest size, to the tiny waist and flat stomach, hips that flare out, the perfect height; not too tall, not too short, these expectations are often times unrealistic to expect of a woman’s body. 

My weight has always been has always been one of my biggest triggers. I’ve only ever been thin once in my life, and I’m pretty sure I’m never getting back to that place. Most people aren’t explicit with their disgust for my body, but my immediate family made it very clear I was too fat. 

In December of 2019, I was 210 pounds. In September of 2020, I am 140 pounds. I know for a fact that I gained weight between December 2019 and March 2020. But as of now, I am 140 pounds and while I now love the way I look, I also hate it.

Photo by Viajero at Pexels

I lost 70 pounds between March 2020 and September 2020. I know that there is no way I did that in a healthy way. I starved myself, point blank. I would deprive my body of nutrition so that I could feel beautiful; and while I do feel beautiful and look great on the outside, I feel awful on the inside. 

There were times where I wouldn’t eat. I would lay in bed, feel my stomach ask for food and refuse to give my body energy. if I did eat, I would over eat on purpose to make myself vomit, because in my mind, if I throw this up, all of this food won’t go to my stomach, my thighs. 

It’s been hard to accept the way I look. I get more compliments now that i’m thinner, now that my waist is smaller. I get more male attention now that my body reflects the body of a woman whom they desire; large breasts, a smaller waist, a more profound behind. All I’ve been given is positive feedback; but how can I accept these compliments knowing that I achieved this look in an unhealthy way? 

I am writing this post to encourage women to love the way they look. There is no such thing as the perfect woman, and male attention is not the end all be all.

Colette J is a Bay Area high school senior and youth writer who wants every woman to remember that she is beautiful.

Coming Together in a World That Pulls Us Apart

Introducing Karma Compass’s newest partner, Shelter in Place, a podcast about coming together in a world that pulls us apart.

Yesterday my husband Nate and I spent the better part of the day in the Emergency Room. Our 3-year-old Mattéa had gotten into my father-in-law’s blood pressure medication, and so after a call to poison control, we headed to the hospital. 

Thankfully, Mattéa was fine. Actually, she was better than fine. As we walked out of the ER several hours later, she looked up at us and said, “that was fun!” We tried not to glare at her. Apparently our efforts to make her understand how serious the situation was had been a total failure. The ER doc had already warned us that the bill would be several thousand dollars. After a long day of taking turns wrestling our daughter down so she wouldn’t pull off the sticky pads that connected wires to her chest and index finger, we were exhausted. Neither of us had slept well for weeks, and for days, our interactions had become increasingly ragged and terse. This visit to the windowless underworld of the ER was just our latest stop on a pandemic Odyssey that we hadn’t gone looking for. I’ll say more about that in a minute.

But first, I have to say that maybe Mattéa has the right idea. Sure, she’d spent hours hooked up to monitors, and had to sit still and miss her nap. But she’d also made a bunch of new friends who all told her how great she was doing, people committed to making sure that she was okay. The Goldfish crackers and orange juice they gave her didn’t hurt either. For Mattéa, it was all one big adventure.

“Ultimately Shelter in Place isn’t just about where you find safety.

It’s about where you belong.”

It’s easy for me to lose sight of the adventure in my own life–to get shipwrecked by the hospital bills, the bedtime battles, the daily griefs and injustices in the newsreel that no longer surprise me. I forget that even in the hard times, there are all kinds of people–friends and strangers–who are willing and ready to make sure we’re okay, to help steer us in the right direction, to tell us that we’re doing great. I forget that even on the worst days, there’s an adventure to be found if I’m willing to look for it.

And that’s why I’m so excited to partner with Karma Compass, to come together in this effort to have authentic conversations that can make a difference.

That’s what season 2 of Shelter in Place is all about: embracing the adventure we didn’t want, but that we’re on anyway–an adventure that we’re not meant to do alone. It’s about finding people who will offer you safety, shelter, and encouragement when you’re lost and ready to give up. It’s about learning to ignore the siren calls of depression and despair and instead find our way home–even if that home looks a lot different than the one we left behind.

Think of it as a pandemic Odyssey, a long and winding journey that shows us what we’re made of, and beckons us toward hope even when the world feels hopeless. A story that doesn’t ignore the dead ends or detours, but instead celebrates our need to rely on others to help us stay on course. Because ultimately Shelter in Place isn’t just about where you find safety. It’s about where you belong.

Listen to the full story here!

The Spaces in Our Togetherness

risk everything.

And nothing.

I found you whole, a perfect imperfection.

Saucy and hot!

Stay close, hug up on me, bump me–again, worry, smile, cry, mansplain, masseur, get provisions, pay the bills, pick up G, wake up too early, laugh, grade papers, water the garden, teach, teach right after, teach some more, learn two or three things from your wife, get takeout, walk up the hill, put out the bins, close up the house, deliver my bud, check your email, call your siblings–

all kind as love!

And, just this morning.

Edissa mentors artists and writers of all ages in alignment with her conviction for working in radical solidarity to achieve social justice.

Featured photo by Jason Reyes for Living Artist Project.

Rediscovering the Love of Reading (Youth Speak Out Series)

This Quarantine has been an unprecedented and unforgiving time for many of us. Most people are feeling at least a little isolated; anxiety and depression are on the rise. Everyone needs a way to deal with the feelings that this period in time has brought. Teens and young adults, like me, are presented with a unique challenge, as they deal with the already jarring transition from childhood to adulthood. Towards the beginning of the quarantine, I was feeling alone and overwhelmed by all sorts of negative emotions that I did not know what to do with. Now having to adapt to adulthood, along with the changes our world is facing, it is understandable that many of us are feeling increasingly stressed out.

Photo by Josh Hild on Pexels

While we cannot do much about the hand the world has dealt us, we are responsible for how we react. All of our negative emotions are augmented by the loneliness and stress that have been stacked on top of us. Many are unfortunately turning to unhealthy outlets to rid themselves of those pent up emotions. However, some of us are using this time to grow. People are overcoming their negative feelings in a myriad of ways: they are learning new languages, picking up new skills, devoting themselves to a project etc. There are no limits as to what you can do to help you manage the negative emotions that have accompanied this quarantine, different strategies work for different people. For me, the way to weather the storm of negative emotions that I faced was by rekindling my love of reading.

I was an avid reader growing up, and I always especially enjoyed stories set in fantasy worlds. I believe that reading so much as a young child helped me become a more curious and thoughtful person. However, as I got older, I began to be obligated to read things, especially at school. While I understood that it was necessary, this change in mindset completely derailed my enjoyment and turned me off to reading. Recently, looking for a way to pass the time, I started reading a couple of web novels. Almost immediately, I fell back in love with reading. As I swiped through page after page, reading about fantasy worlds filled with magic and splendor, I was provided with what so many of us need right now: an escape. Reading does not stop us from feeling, as many try to accomplish to get through these difficult times. Instead, books introduce us to, and let us feel a whole new slew of positive emotions. Good books allow us to live vicariously through their characters, they allow us to feel happy when they succeed and make us root for them when they struggle; they give us hope. 

Fantasy Book Recommendations for Teens:

  • Frith Chronicles: Written By Russian author, Shami Stovall, Frith Chronicles is a coming of age tale that is relatable to many teens. It is set in a world where Arcanists can gain powers by bonding with magical creatures. I would recommend it to fans of other series, like Harry Potter, that feature a magic school and many adventures .
  • Reborn: Apocalypse: Written by LM Kerr, Reborn Apocalypse takes place in an alternate dimension where humanity has been placed in order to compete to survive against other races. Eventually, humanity loses but the main character is able to return back in time back to when he was first pulled into the apocalyptic game with all of his knowledge about how to do better. I would recommend this book to people who might not even like to read because the game-like system which governs the alternate world makes  it very easy to get into and makes the reader feel like they are in a video game.
  • Cradle: The Cradle series, by Will Wight, has gained a very dedicated following online, and for good reason. It is a Western take on Eastern martial arts cultivation novels, in which strength dictates authority. It is incredibly well-written with great world building and compelling characters. It starts out a little bit slower than other fantasy books, but it picks up with each chapter you read. I would recommend it to those who have a little bit more time on their hands because the series is long and definitely gets you invested.

Jaydon is a senior in high school who lives in Pacifica with his family and his dog.