Love the Way You Look (Youth Speak Out Series)

Society has always had an altered view on a woman’s body. From the large chest size, to the tiny waist and flat stomach, hips that flare out, the perfect height; not too tall, not too short, these expectations are often times unrealistic to expect of a woman’s body. 

My weight has always been has always been one of my biggest triggers. I’ve only ever been thin once in my life, and I’m pretty sure I’m never getting back to that place. Most people aren’t explicit with their disgust for my body, but my immediate family made it very clear I was too fat. 

In December of 2019, I was 210 pounds. In September of 2020, I am 140 pounds. I know for a fact that I gained weight between December 2019 and March 2020. But as of now, I am 140 pounds and while I now love the way I look, I also hate it.

Photo by Viajero at Pexels

I lost 70 pounds between March 2020 and September 2020. I know that there is no way I did that in a healthy way. I starved myself, point blank. I would deprive my body of nutrition so that I could feel beautiful; and while I do feel beautiful and look great on the outside, I feel awful on the inside. 

There were times where I wouldn’t eat. I would lay in bed, feel my stomach ask for food and refuse to give my body energy. if I did eat, I would over eat on purpose to make myself vomit, because in my mind, if I throw this up, all of this food won’t go to my stomach, my thighs. 

It’s been hard to accept the way I look. I get more compliments now that i’m thinner, now that my waist is smaller. I get more male attention now that my body reflects the body of a woman whom they desire; large breasts, a smaller waist, a more profound behind. All I’ve been given is positive feedback; but how can I accept these compliments knowing that I achieved this look in an unhealthy way? 

I am writing this post to encourage women to love the way they look. There is no such thing as the perfect woman, and male attention is not the end all be all.

Colette J is a Bay Area high school senior and youth writer who wants every woman to remember that she is beautiful.

On the Pains of Xeriscaping: Toward Waterwise Living

It’s hard to have an ugly yard in California. Many residents in Southern California pride themselves on lush gardens with blooming flowers and Tennessee Bluegrass, but for environmentally-conscious people, watering thirsty plants in this hot arid land is untenable. Add the challenge of the dry Santa Ana winds from inland that desiccate the land and summer temperatures that rocket to the triple digits for weeks at a time. Basically, transforming a garden to a waterwise feature is not easy in the high deserts of Los Angeles County.

Owing to SoCal’s intense heat, gray water makes inhospitable ground for new plants, even adapted species and natives. The water here is mineral rich, causing calcification to household appliances like dish and clothes washers. One needs imagination to maintain efficiency will modifying a typical garden to a draught-tolerant, water-wise and creature friendly environment. Like all major changes, the transformation is not always easy to bear, to see or experience. Homeowner’s curb appeal may be temporarily reduced. That’s why many people pay gardeners and landscapers to do the work. But not me! I like to feel the dirt under my nails and the strain of my back as work this good earth.

Gardening always embodies mindfulness: One must pay attention to everything. I learned that the earth here is packed solid as rock in summer–especially without persistent watering. The soil is dense and claylike and water does not penetrate the top layer. It remains on the surface until the sun and wind evaporate it midmorning. The earth acts like a terra-cotta planter; roots cannot penetrate the solid surface. This hurts plant roots and hinders growth. All this means a gardener must use plants that will tolerate less water and consolidate plants in areas where water is used efficiently. Even so, to keep such a garden content, soil amendment is required.

Among the challenges of xeriscaping a property is adapting to the local conditions and climate as well as finding plants and arrangements that optimizes water use, while minimizing the demands for potable water, an increasingly scarce global commodity that is essential for life. I don’t mind the awkward transitions; xeriscaping my property gives me hope, because I can model a patient approach to land stewardship that embraces the local environment and creates a sustainable environment for all of us.

A happy draught-tolerant Palo Verde tree after soil amendment for better drainage.

Edissa is cultivating an organic edible garden and xeriscaping her SoCal property.

Supporting Survivors in the Black Community

So this horrible event happened to you, and your world has been flipped upside down. You don’t know who to turn to, and in some cases, if you were to speak up, the person “supporting” you would just make you interact with your perpetrator or dismiss you altogether.

Reporting sexual assault requires a strength that many survivors don’t have. This is usually due to the experience and the stigmas that are applied to the survivor. These stigmas make it that much harder to speak up, and those that speak up carry a considerable burden. For many, this expectation is a deterrent, and for every Black woman that reports what happened to her, 15 Black women do not.

Here are some facts concerning sexual assault as it manifests in the Black community:

For those that live in low-income communities, the correlation between assaults — particularly assaults with a weapon — increases. These attacks have historically been a way to silence and suppress Black women, and by extension, Black men. While Hollywood tends to portray these transgressions in a sensational manner, such as the stranger who breaks into your home, the truth is a bit more mundane. Often, assailants are people that the victim knows, such as a parent, sibling, or a romantic partner. 

Sometimes, drugs and alcohol are introduced as a way to relax the target’s boundaries. Assailants are often adept at assessing whether the mark exhibits traits of anxiety or people-pleasing, and will often use gaps in power as a way to gain control of the interaction. This includes promises of food, money, popularity, protection, preferential treatment, or some other perceived need.   

A small toolkit for survivors and supporters

Listen. If you are a supporter, center the survivor, and if the event happened to you, listen to your feelings. Our justice system is ill-equipped to handle these cases. Please keep that in mind as you ask the survivor why they didn’t report. Reach out to programs that assist survivors in their healing. Understand that healing is not a straight line, but cyclical — be gentle and don’t push. Exercise, counseling, art and crying are all very helpful.

How to Maintain Mental Health Through Ritual

With unexpected changes happening every day, I’ve found that it’s important to find a routine or a ritual. For me, it is walking in nature to breathe the air that refreshes and heals, taking warm showers with luxurious soaps and salts that soften and cleanse, and drinking the teas that bring forth healing and wash the worries of the day away. These sensual indulgences link my body, mind, and spirit and allow for optimal psychological and spiritual health.

Mental health, our internal heaven, sometimes seems to elude us but is always available to us. A fragile, steadfast friend, it wants to stay with us — through connecting with our friends and our family, scribbling in a journal with tattered pages; a trusted and empathetic psychiatrist or counselor, or the paintbrushes tucked in our studio. 

Respite and Revival

These rituals simultaneously connect us to and vehemently release us from the realities of life, while life makes it possible to enjoy and revive our bodies and souls. With our staunch collective obsession of all that is new and theoretical in our Western society, coming back to that which is tried and true can be a welcome respite from the pressure to be different.

Still, a mysterious danger remains of being stuck in the past, present, or even future instead of being edified by it. We must embrace cycles in their full spectrum. Cycles are not just a hallmark of fertility although that is certainly significant; these cycles are cues that allow healing, sleep, emotional development and stability, calm. 

Alleviation of Emotional and Psychological Pain

These rituals and cycles — circling, and spiraling — undo the knots of symptoms such as anxiety and anger. Our internal revolutions unfurl the painful memories locked into our psyche and cells and are expressed as inflammation. Whether you call these experiences cytokines or prostaglandins, rituals to remove stress can stop the overabundance of pain.

We also stop the pain with laughter, the ultimate healing ritual amid the friction that can be described as systematic subjugation. I laugh with my ancestors: they get the joke, the absurdity that we should have to fight oppressive forces all this time.

Finding my center

My rituals help me to tap within, to figure out why we do what we do. Where do we fit into the seeming madness of the world? It seems like we all have desires that appear to be at odds with each other, yet make up a composite mosaic that is reflective of our collective experience.

Real Cures: 2018’s Best Health, Wellness and Bliss Treatments (The ENH Must-Have List)

If your vibe is deep relaxation, experience the cure that is literally in the award-winning waters of Desert Hot Springs, California. Fall in love with the simplicity and serenity of Palm Springs’ neighbor by booking a few days at El Morocco Inn and Spa, the oasis in the sandy plains, where visitors are tucked behind the walls of the sumptuous Arabian-inspired courtyard. The charming private enclosure allows guests to swim and soak away ailments without external intrusions—guests can’t see the outside world except for the sky. Renew and recharge in the adults-only environment in tranquility. El Morocco Inn and Spa lives up to its name with festive details like a plate of dates and dried fruit under a tagine cover, cool mint-lemonade on the ready and glimpses of ‘Rick’s Café Americain’ in its constant loop while you sip a glass sherry by the hearth.

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El Morocco provides the serenity necessary to recover from the frenzy of urban living. Add one of their signature therapeutic massages to seal the deal and walk away in a state of perfection. They offer some of the best, expert massages that include olfactory, visual and physical stimulation at a delightfully modest price.

 

 

The solution to chronic aches and pains is here. ICE Recovery and Wellness, LA’s best-kept health and wellness secret is affordable and accessible. ICE Recovery and Wellness offers the latest technologies to repair muscles suffering from fatigue, spasms and repetitive-stress injuries the same way that professional athletes do—with state-of-the-art cryotherapy and adjustable pressure Normatec compression sleeves for arms and legs. Their elite, premium package is the same care that professional athletes get but with a homey feel that invites relaxation and healing. Located in Valencia, California, ICE Recovery and Wellness gives every client amazing star treatment. You’ll encounter a warm cordiality from the staff that lasts until you leave. Plus, at ICE everyone is family, which is awesome, because they remember your name, attend to your needs and welcome you in a professional manner. It’s the kind old-fashioned, attentive, personalized service I adore. ICE offers a range of packages, including a-la-carte and membership plans.

 

If you can’t make the trip south, get the rewards of retreat close to San Francisco. Indulge in a Rich Body Awareness class. Take a Saturday morning neuro-reprogramming feast in “Awareness Through Movement® Class” Feldenkrais classes offered at Kaiser in Daly City with Futaba Alizoti, affectionately called Taba. Rich Body Awareness sessions are a Feldenkrais buffet of information. Taba’s classes allow participants to slow down and listen to the body. Plus, benefit from Taba’s intuitive teaching style, which stems from her history in ballet and Aikido, modalities with uncompromising physical demands. “Our bodies are an expression of ourselves,” Taba explains; “It’s up to us to understand ourselves.IMG_4069

With one-on-one Functional Integration sessions, weekly classes and monthly workshops, clients choose the type Feldenkrais experience they want to learn from themselves. During a session, Taba may gentle guide you in the direction of least resistance, instructing your body to move as it was designed. Eyes closed, you’re invited to “Notice” and after a time of intense self-focus, to “Let that go” and that “if you’re not breathing, you’re working too hard.” This is not an exercise class, but a place to transform consciousness. The movements in Feldenkrais are small, paced to allow breath-awareness and re-connection with self. The information gained from within, ensure that “You become the authority of your own body.”
 

Join Taba’s Rich Body Awareness Feldenkrais ATM®Workshop for Cultivating Self-Care: “Growing Your Backbone” Sunday, June 17, 2018, 10am-1pm at 43 Parsons Street in San Francisco for $60. Space is limited. Reserve your spot.

 

 

 

Read My Lips! My Fall ’17 Favorite Lip Products (The ENH Must-Have List)

This ENH Must-Have List is all about keeping your lips happy, day or night, through the season of partying. These four items are in my vanity case and have been tested and proved reliable for daily care. They are my absolute top picks for a moist pucker that pops.

Almost any MAC Lipstick makes me happy because of their lush and vibrant palettes and their top-shelf quality. My rage of the moment, however, is MAC Bronze Shimmer Lipstick. I can’t get enough of it. I use it on top of other colors to soften, sparkle and highlight. When I wear it alone, Bronze Shimmer makes me feel like Rihanna on the cover of W. Yes, that good.

Next, I have recently discovered the ultimate lip stain from Kat Von D: Everlasting Liquid Lipstick. Everlasting contains vitamin E, goes on wet and adheres to your lips in a lush matt finish. As the name implies, Everlasting gives hours of long wear in bold hues, like wintry plum Exorcism and the ever pouty Damned. Kat Von D offers an eight-color sampler with a wonderful array of autumn shades. It’s a perfect stocking stuffer, too.

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“Salsa Dance” by Kristine Moore for Living Artist Project

“Winter is coming.” Seriously! Moistening with Estee Lauder Lip Conditioner is a daily must for a dry winter mouth. One glide leaves lips lubed up and light. With no fragrance or color, silky and supple kiss-‘em-goodnight lips are all you get. Wear it alone, or under your favorites. Plus, one application of Estee Lauder Lip Conditioner lasts forever without the build up of some balms, which makes it an economical investment.

Last up, for the ultimate in quick repair, try Global Beauty Care Vitamin C Oil. The great price of this serum makes it essential for any medicine cabinet. Just a drop of Global Beauty Care serum heals cracked, wind- or sun-chafed lips, overnight. I even use it on my hands, face and arms, but that’s another list!

Can I Sleep in These? My Must-Have List Features Sneakers and Gear for Happy Feet

At some point, people start to think about their feet. This usually happens after not thinking about them at all for years. Let’s see just how easy it can be to alleviate foot pain by skipping it altogether. These three products are proven to provide foot contentment. Welcome to the first ENH Must-Have List. I’m doing this because I believe it’s always cool to take care of yourself. And if you’re like me, you appreciate time-tested quality products for your home, body and lifestyle. Get the latest products tested by real people, friends like me. Let’s get started with foot care since this foremost in my thoughts these days. Read on for some tested (by me) ways to keep your toes tingling for all the right reasons!

Grab a pair of these stunning sneakers if you want to fall in love with your shoes. This year’s new Ecco Soft 7 Sneakers is available in thirteen awesome colors. These shoes feel like a cloud of warm air hugging your feet. Ecco brought back that classic Keds second-grade flavor we loved when we were babies with these fine kicks, but added a grown-up sophisticated sensibility for professional women who want to pamper their feet and look fabulous, too. These shoes are good friends you’ll want to spend lots of time with. They feature comfy arch support and removable insoles in case you need more room or inserts. These are my absolutely favorite shoes. Get your pair at The Walking Store and keep some locals in business.

Of course, we don’t all wear sneakers to work. If you love your shoes, but not the insides, here’s a quick, affordable fix for most ladies. Adjust your regular shoes for all-day performance with Dr. Scholl’s Massaging Gel insoles. These inserts are an easy way to make almost any shoes feel like sneakers. Simply trim the inserts to fit most closed shoes and mules. They also have special designed insoles for use with high heels. Plus, the top layers of these insoles have a breathable fiber that keeps your feet fresh and dry. One draw back to these is that they are bulky, so your shoes may fit tighter with them in.

These days, almost everyone is trying to stay healthy. The right shoes for athlete activities are an imperative. Last up on my must-have list are my absolute favorite, cozy outdoor-activity favorites for light hiking, running and walking. Right on point, La Sportiva Bushida Trail-Running shoes are the best choice for people of any gender in need of comfortable style and lightweight endurance. These boldly designed shoes provide unbeatable wearing power. I know; I’ve owned three pairs. They wash in the machine and dry out quickly, which is pretty nice if you’re out on the trail, running through streams. Ankle stabilization and arch support were the main reasons I tried them a few years ago, and I have no regrets. They have a great low price for the quality and durability. Try a pair at REI. I wear my Sportivas around the city for basic athletics, stairs and in the mountains for backpacking. Love them!

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Angie Martinez for Living Artist Project